Note Pad, #4
The importance of friendship waffles, a reading slump, and an updated TTPD ranking
It’s been a few weeks since I got back from my honeymoon and I feel like I’m just settling back into the pendulum swings of daily life. It’s like putting on an old pair of jeans that are fresh from the dryer - familiar, but a little stiff. I’m taking a bit to warm back up and stretch into the contours of my regular routine. Work, newslettering, heading back to the gym, long walks around the neighbourhood, meal prep! After a month of non-stop lush restaurants across Europe it’s felt strange, but welcome, to prepare my own meals again. Oh and coming home just in time for cherry blossom season? Delightful.
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Slouching Towards A Reading Slump: I’ve quit the last three books I’ve attempted at around the 20 page mark. Reading slumps are just the pits! It’s disheartening to not feel inspired. You start to miss the ‘rush’ of a good book. How turning the page can feel like the hiss of a safety hatch opening. How getting lost in words can feel like the first watery rays of light breaking through storm clouds. Gratefully, Emily Henry’s latest is about to swoop in and (hopefully) break this streak. Has anyone started reading Great Big Beautiful Life yet? (or, as my friends and I call it, ‘gibble.’) If you have any other book recommendations … Help!
With Their Lip Gloss Smiles: I only brought one lip product with me on my four week long honeymoon through Europe. I wanted something I could apply unfussily without a mirror while on the go between planes, trains, and buses (oh my). But it needed to impart just enough colour and hydration. While browsing at Sephora, I swatched my go-to balm in the shade ‘Poppy’ on the back of my hand. Sold! So juicy.
A Dessert Spring: I’m not particularly savvy at cooking or baking, but I do give it my best effort. I’d like to think I’ve gotten better over the years. Especially my meal prep game. My annual contribution to Christmas dinner is always a tiramisu. The effort to satisfaction ratio is unmatched because it’s a no bake dessert but always such a crowd pleaser. Over the weekend, I got together with my family for Easter dinner. My mom had uncharacteristically asked me to bring a dessert so it felt like a great time to give my typical tiramisu a lighter, springier twist. The answer? A lavender earl grey tiramisu. Instead of dunking lady fingers in extra strong coffee, I made an earl grey tea concentrate. Rather than adding rum to the mascarpone, I splashed in some gin for a botanical zing. I also swapped the powdered cocoa I usually dust on top for this lavender mix. This, it turns out, was the clincher. My cousin (a bergamot lover) called it my “best tiramisu yet.” Success! If I were to do it again I’d add lemon zest and maybe opt for a more flavoured gin like elderflower to take it that next step further. I also do wish I had these to top it off with! Maybe during the next drop - if I move fast enough.
I Like (On Sale) Shiny Things: Letting you know that one of my favourite jewelry brands, Mejuri, is doing a rare sale - up to 20% off site wide. Normally, they only offer discounts once a year at Black Friday. So if you’ve been eyeing something, now’s a great time. I’ve been in the market for statement earrings that speak to my ‘Edgy’ style word. I’m torn between the two above! I prefer the symmetry of the ‘Dôme Pebble Earrings’ (left) but the ‘Dôme Mixed Pebble Earrings’ (right) are a few mm’s larger. Which would you choose?
Of course, if you’re into a Taylor exact (that I also +1 *sparkle eyes*), you can’t go wrong with this ring that’s as timeless as its name implies.
It’s Nice To Have A Friend (Really): I was catching up with a longtime friend over lunch recently. She told me how much it filled her cup to be able to connect with someone and admitted she’d been feeling lonely for some time. She then explained that her circle of friends had been waning. Posts to the group chat went unanswered. Attempts at making plans petered out. Conversations skimmed the surface or defaulted to passing around the same memes back and forth. It reminded me of the concerted effort needed to make sure friendships stay alive and thrive - particularly later in life. In the tedium of daily responsibilities, fostering these bonds can often fall to the bottom of priority lists or be forgotten entirely.
A few months ago my own friend group adopted the Wednesday Waffle ritual where, each week, we send one another short videos of ourselves with life updates - be they good, bad, random, momentous, inconsequential. Whatever it may be. We weigh the big stuff and the little stuff with the same scale. It all matters because we, as humans, are a summation of it all. And friendship, the realest and truest sort, is a precious scrapbook of all of life’s snapshots. Mark Travers for Forbes even wrote a piece about the power of the Waffle and how its ritualistic nature creates consistency, closeness, and serve as “a reminder of the emotional support we have in our lives” and a consistent way to “strengthen pillars of friendship.” The below, in particular, felt poignant to me.
“We only feel loved when we feel truly known, and we can only be known if we allow others to see us. [Vulnerability] involves revealing one’s authentic self, be it sharing insecurities, successes, dreams, past wounds or future goals. Such sharing reminds us of the strong community that supports us through it all.” — Marc Travers, Forbes
Lately, I’ve never felt more heartened or more sure that holding out a hand and extending kindness and connection is what every single one of us needs more of. Especially when times are as challenging as they are.
I’m conscious that “showing up” for my friends may not always come naturally to me. But I do what I can - silly as it sounds - to “automate” or ease my ability to do that. I know that if I don’t put something in my calendar, it doesn’t happen for my own life. So I use it as a tool for my friend’s lives as well. When a friend has a big exam at school? Calendar. A surgery or medical procedure they’re nervous for? Calendar. A big work meeting or job interview? Calendar. I’ll even use calendar reminders proactively and schedule a personal reminder to myself a week or two ahead to send flowers or coordinate a food delivery gift card. Something to let them know they’re thought of.
A Department-Wide Memo: Last week, I shared this community’s responses to my Google Form marking one year of The Tortured Poets Department. I was so grateful for every single one of the submissions I received. So many thoughtful and nuanced opinions. It was a joy to put together. I wrote extensively about my thoughts on the album last year and only just now did an updated ranking. I can’t bring myself to rank all 31 together, so here are the two “sides” separate!
📜 ICYMI: Your thoughts and my (two part) thoughts on The Tortured Poets Department all linked below!
And My (New) Faded Blue (Wide Leg) Jeans: This may be speaking too soon, but I believe I’ve found my go-to denim for the spring and summer. During the most recent Madewell Insiders Event, I picked up two pairs of the Perfect Vintage Wide Leg Crop jeans in this light blue wash and in white. They really are as good as they’re hyped to be. The high rise makes me feel ‘held’ in the best way. Like a firm, gentle hug. The leg is wide but not *too* wide. For reference, I am typically a 27 in bottoms. I’m on the shorter side (as well as pear shaped) and often I run into waist gaping issues with jeans. Based on the size charts, I bet (and won) with the Curve fit in a 26. Zero gaping. Perfection!
Go / Fight / Win: This past week I’ve been bolstered by friends and loved ones heading to advance polls in Canada’s federal election. I look forward to following suit on election day. Spurred by the reminder that an ocean is comprised of millions of single droplets, I’ve set up a personal monthly donation to the ACLU — their work has felt more vital than ever. I know it can feel like in order to be truly meaningful, your contributions have to fix everything! all at once! all the time! So I hope this serves as a gentle reminder that that isn’t true. Pick a few things (or even one thing) that you care deeply about. Then channel your energy into moving the needle for that thing in the best way that you can with the resources you have. It can be overwhelming, especially when circumstances are bleak. But each of us has the power to change something. Even a pebble casts a ripple. If you’re at the starting line and feel compelled to act but don’t know where to start, this actionable post from as well as the newsletter for daily practical advice have both been gold. I loved how Lauren Stienstra put it for TIME when she wrote the below.
“Even the tiniest efforts have significant impacts … You might introduce the right people, inspire the right idea, or quietly show up, day after day, for a cause that needs you. And that quiet, consistent effort? Thousands of others are doing the same. Taken together, these unsung actions build momentum for real, systemic change.”
— Lauren Stienstra, TIME
Your turn! Would you please answer these for me?
What book are you recommending to everyone you know right now?
What’s your favourite dessert?
What do you do to forge / deepen friendships?
What is your favourite Tortured Poets lyric this week?
1. I've been going through a bit of a reading slump too. I've just been picking up and then quickly putting books back on the shelf. However, Sunrise on the Reaping was excellent and definitely gave me a rush! I've been recommending it to everyone. Now, I'm trying to finish A Song of Ice and Fire which I've been circling back to for the past couple of years.
2. I actually just made some lavender earl grey cookies with a lemon glaze! I brought them in to work and they got devoured, it was great.
3. I've found I'm not the best interviewer, especially with people I've known a long time. Lately, I've been working on checking in more and asking more questions to get to know my people better.
4. For some reason, Clara Bow has been stuck in my head this week, so "You've got edge, she never did / The future's bright, dazzling." Also, "I look in people's windows / Transfixed by rose golden glows / They have their friends over to drink nice wine." Thanks Sarah!
I’m currently finishing a non-fiction book that is so engaging, it’s hard to put down. It’s called, “The Art Thief.”