Stream of Conscious Shopping

The emotional conflict and realistic approach I take to clothing consumption

My day job is in marketing. Which means a lot of things generally. But it mostly means that I have been so embedded in the world of brand and product positioning that I now unironically use words like “align” and “bandwidth” in my daily speech. I also flippantly refer to times in the year by what quarter they fall into and, by extension, what business trends that will be prioritised during that time period. The one we’re about to head into - those of the rarefied -ber months is the fourth quarter of the year and thus, naturally, Q4. In the influencer / fashion / beauty space, this is the most pivotal time of the year. The three months of the year that effectively pay for all the other months. The sales rush in, the products are dropped, the prime gift giving season is foisted upon us, and the opportunity to convert sales is at an all time high. 

It’s a difficult thing to feel part of an ecosystem that is simultaneously inspiring and fun while also being draining and depressing. I consume this content as part of my job and also as a human with a smartphone and an internet connection in 2024. Where I used to stare into the contents of my fridge when I was bored, I now open and close an app that is an opt-in, always-on advertisement ad nauseam. Commercials used to be the thing that interrupted the content I was most interested in consuming (reruns of Friends and Gilmore Girls, obviously). Now, commercials are the content we consume. But I also have to acknowledge that I’m part of the pipeline that produces this content. 

I post fashion exacts as worn by a highly influential public figure and write in a twice weekly newsletter that largely functions as a place to plug the products, the trends, and the consumable things that I enjoy and love chatting about and passing along. When Jess Kirby posted in January that she was going on a year-long no-buy I was aghast. In admiration but also fear. Struck dumb. Don’t buy clothes? For a year? To quote the 1987 cinematic masterpiece The Princess Bride … INCONCEIVABLE! But her “why” stuck with me. “We all have free will, but anyone in the ‘influencing’ industry that thinks they’re not contributing to the overconsumption problem is lying to themselves. The truth hurts.” You can say it struck a nerve. Plain-spoken truths often do. 

It’s hard because I think fashion, as are most things, is complicated. Clothing can be a method of proclaiming independence and expression and freedom and joy. But it can also stand in as a societal means of worth measurement. It can be wielded as an exclusionary marker based on body size and income. And, ultimately, it can be a cruel sliding scale of who we even get to deem admirable and inspirational at all through a non-stop barrage of trends and product launches confounded further by the complication that oftentimes these are only accessible if you wear a certain size and make a certain amount in a year. But we can’t deny that the drive to over consume is not only rotting away at our collective self-esteem but also the world we live in.

Approximately 60% of all materials used by the fashion industry are made from plastic and the majority of textiles — 85% — are slumped into clothing mountains large enough they are visible from space. Every second 2,150 pieces of clothing are discarded. 

I talk a lot about my own closet and how I’ve tried to be very mindful (and demure, I suppose) when it comes to my clothing shopping habits. I declutter regularly! Surely I’m not part of the problem! I’m sure my husband would disagree with me when I say this but I do think I’m thoughtful and reserved about the clothes that I buy. I’d also suppose I would say that “a lot” is not a universal unit of measurement. I’m never going to advertise myself as a “minimalist” who seeks to only own three shirts, three pairs of pants, and three pairs of shoes. If that system works for you, I think that’s great. I don’t think I could ever stick to a hard and fast numerical order of how many pieces I am permitted to have in my closet. As you might recall from my talking about my changing relationship with my style earlier this year as it relates to dresses. If I don’t plan on wearing dresses, really, ever - isn’t three items in your closet completely unworn three pieces too many? Alternatively, I wear denim or trousers basically every day of the week. Even if I were easier on my clothes and more graceful and unlikely to spill marinara sauce on everything I won at least once a week, three isn’t a lot to go by when you put clothes on your body every single day. 

So this is what I have found works for me in keeping my sanity and my closet in order and pulls me back from the brink of overconsumption. 

Shop your own closet 

This newsletter could have been as short as three words. How do you stop overconsumption? Stop buying things. That’s it. That’s the entire thing. 

I’m just kidding. 

But really, really. (#namethattune)

Because the first thing I am saying really is to stop buying things. I’d call it a moment of growth both in self (and perhaps in clothing acquisition) that most of the time when I see a content creator post their outfit of the day, I feel inspired and not spendy. The adrenaline rush I get is not in jonesing to click “buy” on the exact the creator is wearing but because they’ve put together an outfit that I can replicate with pieces I already own. It’s even better when they’ve styled something in a combination I hadn’t previously thought of. 

This happened just over the weekend when I saw this video by Jess. The outfit that struck me most was the cutie striped cardigan, black mini skirt, and boot combination.

I own a very similar striped lady jacket and have almost always paired it with my straight blue jeans or a wide leg black crop. But realising I have all the other key elements of this look gave me so much excitement. A new outfit combination in my back pocket for when the weather deems it appropriate? I can’t wait to wear it. 

It’s times like this that make me excited to wear the clothes that I already own. I think a huge part of keeping overconsumption at bay is leaning into and even carving out opportunities of joy. The hole you’re hoping to fill by clicking ‘add to cart’ is joy and you think that checking out is going to provide you with it. A big lesson for me was finding more sustainable ways to experience joy and gratitude for the things I already have. And for my impatient friends, it might be beneficial to reframe your thinking that shopping your own closet has no shipping timelines. :) 

Consider trends, participate at will 

Part of where I think minimalist or anti-consumption behaviour falls short for me is, unsurprisingly, the lack of space for nuance. It can often feel like those spaces create stringent, hard rules for adherence. Failure to comply is a lack of morality and diligence. For a sustainable and balanced relationship to clothes, absolutes just won’t work. At least not for me. Because feeling like a failure absolutely sucks and it does nothing to aid in developing healthier, long-term habits and lifestyle changes. 

So when I consider clothing that is trending - aka the types of clothes and products that are served to me most often by creators - I like to take a pause. For me, there’s a difference between a “trend” and a classic that’s regaining popularity. Dark brown? Suede bags? Sweater vests? Pops of red? These are things that I think are timeless and classic and I wouldn’t feel bad about participating in / purchasing items from these headings. Why? Because I think I’ll wear them for a long time. Could I see myself reaching for a chocolatey knit cotton crew with jeans and boots every October for the foreseeable future? Yes. Do I see a longevity in mesh flats? I move that into the “not for me / here for now” column and move on my merry way.

A copy + paste if I ever saw one.

I also find that when I am considering a new closet addition - whether trendy or a popular staple I’m missing - I like to give myself some emotional distance before clicking buy. You’re likely thinking to yourself, “Oh god. She’s going to say it.” And yes you’re right I am because the answer is I make a spreadsheet. Natch.  

I like doing this for a few reasons. One because it frees up tab space in my web browser (I am an aggressive tab hoarder and realising you can group tabs in Chrome changed my life). Two because I also add columns like cost and add date. This gives me the opportunity to see how long I’ve thought about adding something to my wishlist. The longer it stays there and the more often I think about it or refer back to it and find my desire still there, the more likely it is that it’s a solid purchase. But if I find that it doesn’t spark the same amount of joy that I thought it would after a few beats (could be days or weeks, even months) then it’s something I can comfortably hit ‘delete row’ on and move on from. During the time an item sits on my wishlist, I also like to gather inspirational outfit photos that use that item and consider the pieces I already have in my closet. Do I need to buy anything else in order to make this one single item work? Are there already things in my closet that it naturally works with and I can make at least X number of outfits with? Does this item work with my style identity and the things that I like or do I just like it only on and for other people. Giving your brain a break to ask these more emotional authenticity questions and logistical realities about your clothing collection is helpful for me in answering the question “Do I need this?”. 

Purchase secondhand 

I’ve been trying really hard to make it a habit now that when I see an item of clothing that I want (or think that I want) I’ll try and locate it on a secondhand site first. Items that are already out in the world and that need new homes. Adopt, don’t shop (Clothing Version). Poshmark is my default, but I’ve found the Canadian version to be wanting against its American counterpart so I find myself flipping between the two often (I luckily have a PO box in Washington state to ship things from American sites when needed). 

While I’m just not one of those girls, there’s also the more obvious physical shopping experience of heading out to thrift or consignment stores for pre-loved clothes. I find that I don’t have the patience to rummage through an entire store of racks. I also can imagine that that scenario would have me inevitably picking something up I didn’t really want or need. You’re fingering through hundreds of hangers and suddenly your eyes alight on something cute. The urge rises up. The sparkles come into your eyes. You feel alive again. I fear that I’d be too grab handy of a person to have the civility to put it down, walk away, and think about it. Whereas I find I get a lot of enjoyment out of online window shopping (add things to cart -> close tab -> repeat). 

Typically when I am shopping, I am looking for something very specific. Red cotton sweater. Wide leg dark wash jeans. Parchment high top Converse. It’s because of this that I personally find the online experience more conducive to my way of shopping / closet-building than rifling around in thrift stores in person. But your mileage and preferences may vary. 

How do you feel about your clothes shopping habits? Anything that you’re struggling with? Or have you successfully abated the shopping desire - if so, what helped you the most?