Celebrating One Year of Tortured Poets
Sharing all of *your* thoughts on this album
Taylor Swift did not have to release The Tortured Poets Department. But I’m glad she did.
Taylor has always sought to make sense of her life through songwriting. Given the self-professed “manic phase” she experienced at the period of the album’s genesis, I’m sure it was a need, not a want, to exorcise her rusted summer onto the page and into this music. Though she may have needed to write it, she didn’t have to release it.
For each of Taylor’s albums, I like pulling out a singular lyric to summarize the album’s themes. Call it a lyrical thesis statement. Last year, in the first (of two) reviews of Poets I offered the following as a possible option: “The scandal was contained / The bullet had just grazed / At all costs, keep your good name … I want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.” Because, as I put it, “To most of the public eye, their most recent images of Taylor are of triumph: Being kissed under a cloud of confetti at the Super Bowl, surrounded by 70,000 fans on the Eras Tour in a glittering bodysuit, accepting her fourth record-breaking Album of the Year trophy for Midnights … For Taylor to choose to dredge the scandal back up and hold its rotting carcass up to the light, even in the midst of triumphant milestones, says a lot about how badly she needed to express this narrative.”
✌️The Tortured Two Part Review Department: Last year, I wrote my own album review of Poets in two parts. Linking them below!
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I’d argue that in weighing risk versus reward, Taylor believed that releasing the nuanced - and sometimes unflattering - self-portrait she painted in Poets was worth the criticism it might net. At this stage in her career, she’s a confident artist. By now an industry veteran, she’s secure and also wise to the realization that being truthful is more important (and also more interesting) than being liked. Despite the reality that in today’s culture truth is not easily digested. Even in the days leading up to the album’s release, choice lyrics from Poets were leaked, circulated, and then criticized on social media.
Thankfully, in writing something as complicated, dense, and messy as Poets, Taylor saw the value in doing something, in saying something, in risking something. In this way, the bravest thing she ever did wasn’t running — it was committing to the same bedroom floor promise she made as a teenager: to pursue personal truth, regardless of who is listening or how large her audience might be. Because she, more than anyone, knows the power of choice and giving people something to believe in. A lesser artist would have noted their glowing public perception at the time and taken the easy route. She could have released an album that was uncomplicated and universally palatable. But Taylor Swift never takes the easy route. She’s built her career on forging her own path. It isn’t so much that she takes the road less traveled or that when faced with a forked path she opts for the one with more obstacles to clear. It’s that she sees one road before her and with her bare hands paves a new, uncharted highway. She painstakingly and defiantly crafts her own exit ramp to create a road uniquely her own. For over a decade, she’s been living proof of her own prose: that nothing safe is worth the drive. It’s why today she is her own sector of the music industry.
But it may not have been this way. The faux indignation of the internet is the death knell of creativity and connectivity (ironically the two things the internet was once so good at). Canonically since 2008 - but long before that, of course - Taylor Swift is an artist who is fearless. Poets is a 31 track, two hour long ode in honour of the complexity and the contradiction of what it is to be human. It didn’t have to exist. But 12 months later I’ve never been more thankful that it does.
We’re a year out from the release of this album and I still love falling down its literary rabbit hole. There’s so much in these songs! I discover something new sonically or lyrically that clicks into place with each listen. I suspect that because of both this album’s breadth (31 songs across two butterflied A and B sides) and depth (exploring themes of doubt, heartbreak, and confusion) that it’s one we’ll continue to dissect and unearth more about for years to come.
I wrote extensively about my own feelings on this album at its release last year. At the one year anniversary of the album, I wanted to turn outwards to this community and gather your expansive thoughts on this body of work. (And also because who doesn’t love data.)
I sent out a Google Form asking for your thoughts on Tortured Poets. I absolutely loved reading your responses. (Spoiler: In case you missed the window to fill out the survey, I’ve popped the questions from it at the end. Would love to hear your answers in the comments!)
My goal was not only to capture your initial thoughts from a year ago, but also how those thoughts have (or haven’t) shifted in the last year. Having an open relationship with art, particularly Taylor’s art, has been one of the most fulfilling parts of my life. There are songs in her discography I once disliked but that took on new meaning as I went through different phases or experienced different scenarios in my life. I love giving art the opportunity to interact with your life as it unfolds and to subsequently change in meaning - and it seems you all do, too.
Below, you’ll find:
Graphs! For those who want the quick and dirty on:
Favourite songs off each “side” of the album
Which do you like more - Tortured Poets Side A (1-16) or The Anthology (17-31)?
Where Tortured Poets lands in your overall ranking of Taylor’s discography
Long form answers! For those who love a lengthy read on:
The song that was an immediate favourite
The song with the slowest burn since release
Vivid moments that stand out over the last year of listening to Tortured Poets
What Tortured Poets means to you then and now (you all shared so many amazing personal anecdotes)
In my opinion, this newsletter is best read cozied up in your favourite reading nook. Ideally with a delicious beverage or snack of your choice. It’s a lengthy one! I hope you enjoy reading this community’s thoughts as much as I did.
While I may not agree with every thought shared below, I believe at the heart of TSS is a coming together over differing opinions and even finding joy in that.
Also - so many responses that made me burst out loud from the observant wit.
Note: Some of these responses have been lightly edited and condensed.
There’s of course so much juicy text that you shared in the reader survey, but for those who are really just here for some immediate takeaways I give you … graphs!
Favourite Songs
The thing that took me by the most surprise (and delight!) was the paralleling big swinging Antonoff-produced track as your respective favourites from each “side” of the album immediately followed by an emotional ballad.
Favourite Sides
When asked about the double album concept, a lot of responses noted loving the abundance. Other responses expressed feeling overwhelmed by the amount of content. Even still, other responses commented on preferring the art of a tightly curated tracklist. Many also treat The Tortured Poets:The Anthology as a single body of work. But if we were splitting hairs - aka sides - your preference was given to the first half.
Favourite Albums
A year out from release felt like a great time to assess Tortured Poets’ placement in the wider landscape of Taylor’s discography. Though, of course, isn’t this always subject to changing? Most of you placed Poets near the top of your ranking.
On immediate favourites …
The thing that struck me most when reading your responses is the breadth! Something I’ve loved so much about Taylor’s discography is how each of us finds a sliver of personal truth in her songs. And being able to relate to her art is never isolated to just one song.
I get such a thrill in discovering someone else’s favourite Taylor song is one of my least favourites - and the inverse. How lucky are we to follow an artist with such emotional range that we can all find pieces of ourselves just where we need it?
Fortnight
Allison said: “The intro ‘I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me’ feels like the definition of my life.”
Emma Louise said: “As an introduction track it took me a while to fully get into but after a while it’s become a solid track. It shows maturity and how much Taylor is in control of her music, writing, visuals and what vehicle she wants to use to introduce a new era with, especially in contrast to what is currently trending in the pop realm.”
My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys
Aly said: “A PERFECT pop song.”
Janelle said: “It spoke to my teenage soul. It’s upbeat and catchy, yet heartbreaking at the same time - my song cocktail of choice every time.”
Madeline said: “I remember being immediately taken by the melody of the chorus. After the first two songs (which were both growers for me) this was the first time I got really excited during that first initial listen.” [Editor’s Note: This was my experience, too!]
Down Bad
Linda said: “I want to cry and twerk at the same time.”
Sara said: “It’s catchy and feels like the right tone for this album, moody but *sparkly*.”
Sophia said: “It had the right amount of unhinge-ness that foreshadows the theme of the album.”
Taylor (yes, really) [Editor’s Note: They really included the parentheses!] said: “I love a sad song that slaps.”
Amy said: “As she's done so many times, she brilliantly puts to words and music that intense feeling we've all felt, whether we've been immediately rejected or dealing with a breakup where we were nowhere near ready to let go.”
So Long, London
Emilie said: “The rhythm that feels like a panic attack with the superior emotional lyrics sold it for me.”
Kristen said: “It’s all the things that I love about Taylor’s music.”
Geneviève said: “I love the cadence in the verses, very hypnotic. I also love the vivid imagery of a one sided relationship.”
But Daddy I Love Him
Dani said: “It’s 20+ years of writing experience on full display through lyrics that run almost the entire 5.5 minutes of the song. She truly showed what it meant to make a pen a weapon.”
Alyah said: “The song is sung and produced in a way that immediately fits with the lyrics, like it actually feels like I am gonna run with my dress unbuttoned.”
Paige said: “It’s a camp update of ‘Love Story.’”
Amy said: “I loved this song so much because I feel like it was Taylor stepping into her truth, no holds barred. She just came out and said *exactly* what she was feeling and detailed the struggles of her fame and all the judgment she's endured. Like any of us, she just wants to live! It's such a fantastic anthem for following your heart and doing what you want, regardless of all the outside noise.”
Fresh Out the Slammer
Ashley said: “It connects the overarching storylines of folklore, evermore, and Midnights to TTPD. It made me listen to those previous albums in a different light. It almost felt like I was hearing them again for the first time!”
Pippa said: “It sounds like driving in summer.”
Florida!!!
Basma said: “An instant favourite because it is so raw. The feelings of escapism and regret mixed together were just so on point.”
Anna said: “As someone who worked at Walt Disney World for four years in 2012, this song is so much fun to sing and dance to, and makes me reminisce about living in Orlando.”
Sabrina said: “I love how everyone can relate to this song, no matter where they live in this world. Everyone has a ‘Florida!!!’ in their life - whether that be a literal city or a person. It’s so easy to connect with the song and its meaning.”
Guilty As Sin?
Zara said: “Struck me straight away as a chronic daydreamer. It’s just that song that perfectly encapsulates what it’s like to be in that haze when you get a new crush. You feel like you’re dying and flying at the same time. It’s the perfect song for hopeless romantics, like ‘Enchanted’ but grown up. Wanting something that’s bad for you, wanting something you can’t have. She’s explored those themes in other songs all throughout her career. But this time it just felt darker and more self-aware and yet still completely her, desperately romantic.”
Justine said: “That moment after the bridge with the inflection and note change on ‘upper thigh’ being the climax before it drops back into the chorus and outro is just insane song crafting.”
Eleanor said: “It felt like a really digestible and understandable part of the narrative that many of us were expecting with this album.”
Alexandra said: “It felt so honest and raw. Obviously that is a hallmark of Taylor’s writing, but something about this song took it to a new place of maturity. I also deeply related to the subject matter, in the sense that I too have felt I was drowning in a relationship while pining for someone else. That guilt eats you alive. Taylor expressed it perfectly.”
Stacie said: “The religious metaphors are so adept at framing this lust-driven admiration as a devoted belief worthy of worship. I love the sound of the song, the rhythm and flow and when Taylor combines her ‘glitter pen’ pop sounds with ‘quill pen’ diaristic prose. When she does this, it can leave you singing the chorus because it’s so fun and pondering the lyrics at night before bed because they have so much depth to uncover.”
Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?
Victoria said: “The anger was so unlike anything we had seen previously. Many interpreted it as Taylor’s rage at the media, but this song felt so directed and personal in my eyes. As the woman who was labeled angry and mean by her ex, I felt seen. When an animal is forced into a corner, it will bite. When a woman is forced to endure, she will lash out. The song carries the spirit of every woman who has been there, too.”
Lily said: “It felt like Taylor's most powerful reclamation of her identity yet and made me so proud to be a fan. We know her courage and she proved it spectacularly with this song. It’s the real valiant roar! Anyone who's felt bullied or gaslit will love this song because even though it's about the industry it’s also for anyone that had to get fierce to survive even though they wanted to be kind. And then realised they earned the right to take up space and fight for what they want!”
Sydney said: “Pen on fire, the shrieking, the BRIDGE!!!”
Lauren said: “Who didn’t love yelling and screaming it with her as one of the first lyrics we memorized from TTPD?”
Melissa said: “It really is Female Rage: The Musical and as a musical theatre enjoyer it was an instant fave.”
Liz said: “So powerful, so passionate, so deep. I feel Taylor's comfort in expressing anger has grown so much through each album going back to ‘Picture To Burn’ and to me this is the pinnacle.”
loml
Irene said: “As a sad song girlie, it was everything I thought it would be and more. The intensity of her feelings is in full display, and her penmanship is unmatched.”
Sophie said: “I hear a sad ballad and come running like Pavlov’s dogs.” [Editor’s Note: This feels like it was downloaded straight from my own funny bone. LOL!]
Keri said: “I just remember gasping at some of the lines and how vulnerable they were.”
Wendy said: “It's a classic Taylor simple but incredibly effective ballad, and it felt more true to her usual songwriting style than some of the other tracks.”
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
I was deeply touched by the responses who noted that this song got them through a particularly rough time in their life. And the range of those experiences was vast! Divorce, work, friendship breakups, writing a PhD dissertation, the death of a parent or pet … the list went on and on. It was so powerful being able to assign a person and a name to such a range of personal interpretation and meaning from just one song! It meant so much that so many of you felt comfortable sharing that here. Thank you for that trust.
Aabha said: “Looking back, I think I felt a bit of the vibe of that song in her concert. It breaks my heart that she was so brave. I feel like I really ‘saw’ and experienced what she wrote about in that song.”
San said: “Sad bop. I was going through a divorce while in grad school and I NEEDED this song.”
Charli said: “It speaks to a lot of women's experiences with getting stuff done and hiding turmoil beneath the facade of perfection and false confidence. It's an anthem for millennials in particular, who have experienced so many once-in-a-generation pratfalls and continue to get up and persevere.”
Vanessza said: “Even though this song is about a broken heart because of love, I associate it with my struggles completing my PhD. I immediately connected to the song’s message about ‘fake it till you make it’.”
Seanagh said: “It really summed up the ethos of the whole album.”
Erin said: “I’m known as the preppy blonde girl in my family/friends/work groups and I always have a smile on my face, but that’s not the reality that’s happening in my head. When it comes to my personal feelings on my ‘purpose’ I always say that I think I’m here to make others feel joy in life and ensure others are happy and I use all that energy on them and there’s none left for myself. I really felt this during my first listen, and my heart broke for her, because no one deserves to have to live like this, but we fake it till we make it!”
Molly said: “It’s become one of my favourite self-motivating mantras I never knew I needed.”
Taylor said: “It felt like I was in on a secret. Those of us close to the fandom knew she was hurting and saw the effort she was putting in to make Eras what it was. Also, my mom’s death anniversary is three days after the album was released. I’m an elementary music teacher and this song encapsulates how it feels to sing, dance, and perform for my students while navigating my life’s biggest loss.”
Kristen said: “I’m a teacher and a song about being able to push through even though everything is coming down around you that came out at the hardest point in the school year? I was always going to resonate hard with that.”
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
Jaki said: “I loved this song because I dated this man. My ex was emotionally abusive and our break up almost killed me. When I first heard the line ‘and you deserve prison but you won’t get time’ I sobbed because it’s really true.”
Emma said: “It’s so emotionally vulnerable in a very Taylor-esque way, balancing the specific kind of sadness/anger that comes with such a heartbreak.”
Kelley said: “That bridge is epic for screaming in the car whether you’re thinking of an ex-bf or the POTUS … it’s all relevant.”
The Black Dog
Emily said: “Such a callback to standard Taylor writing traditions, especially her country era.”
Caroline said: “It evoked such an emotional reaction in me and I felt like so many of the lyrics captured how it feels to be heartbroken in ways I’ve never been able to put into words.”
Katie said: “I felt almost hypnotized by the opening verse. I was tired late at night and ready for bed and it almost had me in a trance.”
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
Katie said: “There's a lot of heartbreak on this album, but to me this song is the most vulnerable. She sings about contorting herself to try to be what he wants, about his cheating, about never being enough, and about just wanting to be seen. Then it sprinkles in his own vices that killed their love.”
So High School
Abby said: “As a millennial it sounded so nostalgic for the early 2000s high school experience.”
Emily said: “So romantic and makes me feel like I’m in a rom com. Every. Single. Time.”
The Prophecy
Courtney said: “It describes the struggle to find love and feel disappointed constantly by the universe.”
Keely said: “This song was just so emotional and a very real, and true glimpse into Taylor's psyche at the time of writing. Of course, as has been a part of Taylor's brand since the beginning, it's relatable. But there is something about the desperation you feel when listening to it. The feeling of begging the universe to change or alter what seems to be a constant fate laid out on an immovable track. A feeling that many of us have felt in so many other avenues in our life, not just in regards to romance.”
Holly said: “It describes my greatest struggle in poetry and sound.”
Peter
Katherine said: “It tapped into a lot of the heartbreak and betrayal that I was feeling at the time.”
Sian said: “This song made me so emotional and I didn’t know why. It forced me to really dig deep within myself and discover some truths. I also just love the piano melody throughout and I think it’s a song that could make anyone into a Swiftie.”
Bel: “The first time I heard the line ‘life was always easier on you than it was on me’ felt like a punch to the gut and something I needed to hear at the time.”
The Bolter
Aileen said: “It’s just the most fun little ditty.”
Alkali said: “It threw me for a loop with how easily she paints a picture of her life, though I’ve been a fan for such a long time, sometimes I forget how sharp her pen is.”
Taylor said: “There is a niche vibe I fall in love with every dang time, and it’s a song with soul crushing lyrics but a fun little beat. I want to dance the entire time while I cry.”
The Manuscript
Kat said: “A beautiful end track and a story I can personally relate to. She put the feeling into such poignant words.”
Miranda said: “I just fully burst into sobs hearing it for the first time. The original ‘All Too Well’ was so deeply meaningful to me when it first came out because I’d literally just experienced a devastating breakup with an older man. I’d loved Taylor for years but it felt unbelievable to me that I could feel so very seen and understood by an artist at a time when it felt like no one in my life really got what I was dealing with emotionally. Hearing ‘The Manuscript’ and understanding how much ‘All Too Well’ and the way the fans have embraced it over the years has transformed that pain for Taylor was so incredibly powerful. The fandom is far from perfect — as she even points out a number of times on TTPD — but knowing in a way that we’ve helped heal her the way that she’s healed all of us is incredibly moving to me. And of course, who else is using their own work as an allusion in their songwriting? She’s unlike any artist out there.”
Andria said: “Truly an absolutely beautiful work of art that showcases her ability to weave a story and talk about her past. This felt like therapy to me, going through the past and processing it and being a different person after going through that, growing up and making some hard realizations. The first time I listened I had the lyrics out as well which helped me really process everything she was saying.”
On the songs with the slowest burn …
The most popular response to this question didn’t surprise me at all, as it also happened to be mine! I can imagine the poetic structure of “The Albatross” would have given anyone pause upon first listen. But given that some of us first heard this song in the wee hours of the morning when it was surprise dropped along with the rest of The Anthology at 2AM (Eastern), I don’t blame anyone for needing more absorption time.
The Albatross
Annika said: “On first listen, I still loved the melodies and the pace of the song, I just didn't get what she was singing about. That was until I really dove into the lyrics, the metaphors and all the references and imagery to it. Now I think it's one of the best songs she's ever written. Her knowledge of literature and poetry and how she is able to weave it into her songs while applying her own experiences to it is honestly astonishing.”
Maria said: “Not because I didn’t immediately like it, I did! I just wanted to sift through the lyrics with a closer literary perspective and I came away obsessed. A career highlight, in my opinion. Almost as if ‘Blank Space’ and ‘Jump Then Fall’ had been rewritten in quill and ink.”
Stacie said: “This song has so many layers to it, I think to truly unravel the story Taylor is trying to tell, you need to listen to it many times over. You need to sit with it. When I understood that this was Taylor's perspective on how her relationship partners might come to understand her world and the noises within it - it is a beautifully deep way to describe the ‘delicate’ nature of what it means to be with her.”
Of course, there were other songs you needed more time with. Including …
My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys
Katie said: “It didn't become a go-to for me until I heard her voice note. The production is not my favorite, but the depth I needed to enjoy that song was given to me through the OG lyrics and maybe because the production was stripped back.”
Guilty As Sin?
Jennifer said: “It took a while for me to really appreciate the dramatics of the religious metaphors and the swing of the guitar melody and now it's my #1 on the album.”
The Alchemy
Sara said: “I never really disliked the song but I didn’t understand the love that a lot of the fandom had for it. About two months ago I was folding laundry and listening to the album and when this song came on I felt my brain transform. Yes, there are still the football-heavy lines but more than anything it sounds and feels like coming home to yourself and finding the parts of you that were dimmed now become glittery and shiny again.”
Clara Bow
Geneviève said: “At first I thought it was really simple and did not really like the ‘twist’ at the end. Now, it makes me think of ‘Nothing New’ from Red. Taylor has been thinking about people getting bored of her for a long time. On ‘Clara Bow’, she illustrates how this has happened to women before her and will continue happening. I like to think that this song helped her.”
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
Bailey said: “As I’ve listened more and more it is one that I constantly go back to over and over. It really hits home the point of how sometimes those breakups where someone is cruel and mean are the easiest to get over, while one that leaves you with a ‘what if’ or a ‘I wish things could be how they were at the start’ are the most devastating and painful. Plus I love the imagery of seeing the hologram at the beginning and the casual inclusivity of the possibility of a Chloe, a Sam, a Sophia, or a Marcus. I love when a Taylor song makes me come up with more questions the more I listen and makes me feel like a mini detective to find all the connections and thematic ties from one song to others in her previous discography.”
thanK you aIMee
Rebekah said, “It initially felt very petty to me that she would call out Kim after so long and so much success, but I came to realize that part of the reason that Taylor’s success is so profound is because she came back from Kim’s scheming, and she recognizes that for herself.”
I Look In People’s Windows
Isobel said: “I think because it's so short it's easy to skip over it, but now I love the dreamy quality to it and how much longing she is able to pack into such a delicate song.”
I Hate It Here
Ally said: “This song bugged initially with some of the historical references and navigating the nuances (was she making a point? was it tone deaf?). But lately as an American it unfortunately resonates.”
The Manuscript
Jaimie said: “This really crept up on me in a big way, I think it’s one of my favourites now whereas it didn’t affect me as much right off the bat. But hearing it and listening to just this pure storytelling and diaristic song, it feels so honest.”
On what you’d leave on the cutting room floor …
By far the most common responses to this question were “thanK you aIMee” and “Robin.” I think many people know how I feel about the latter! Most of the comments about these two songs centered on neither feeling propulsive or relevant enough to the wider story of the album. Or that both songs explore themes you felt were explored better in other songs on previous albums.
thanK you aIMee
Zara said: “I just don’t think it brings anything new to the table. The other songs on TTPD brought us more into Taylor’s mind and I really felt like I had gotten to know her better after listening.”
Cali said: “I just do not like anything about that song. Not the production, not the melodies, not the lyrics. I understand why she put it on the album, I just wish it sounded very, very different.”
Irene said: “I think she has better songs treating the subject, and that in general it doesn't add anything (to be honest, I think it detracts from the album).”
Amy said: “My name is Amy and it hurts my feelings a little tiny bit every time I hear it.” [Editor’s Note: I giggled a bit. Sorry, Amy!]
Robin
Justine said: “I feel like it just doesn’t fit on this record. To me TTPD/The Anthology are about the emotional reeling after not one but two significant breakups, reconsidering her relationship with fame and her own fans, and looking back on her own life to see what patterns emerge and the consequences she’s facing as a result of her past choices. ‘Robin’, a ballad to/about Aaron Dessner’s son, just feels like an odd choice to have on the album and I feel like it touches on some of the same themes as ‘Never Grow Up’ but doesn’t hit as well maybe due to the dreary production.”
Vanessza said: “It feels really random in the context of all the other songs. To me TTPD et al. is about love/loss and the different facets of dealing with it all. And I know being in the public eye is a huge aspect of it (‘Clara Bow’, ‘Cassandra’), but this growing up aspect just feels very out of place.”
Emily said: “I think she's done songs with similar messages that were much better and got their point across more effectively on other albums.”
Victoria said: “It’s so sweet, but I think it is a bit out of place. I think ending on ‘The Bolter’ into ‘The Manuscript’ would have been stronger.”
Some of the more uncommon cuts? The answers may surprise you!
So Long, London: Rosannah said, “Much as I hate to say this about an exalted Track 5 (and as a Brit), but it doesn't ever really have me in my feels. Especially not compared to ‘How Did It End?’ which would occupy the Track 5 position on The Anthology if they were two separate albums.”
Florida!!!: Tiffany said, “The chorus sound of banging instruments is just really hard for me to listen to. I love Florence and the lyrics/concept, just not the sound production.”
I Can Fix Him: Kimberly said, “I think the message is better conveyed through other songs and this one just isn't interesting enough.”
The Alchemy: Angel said, “I don’t understand its purpose on the standard edition, as the central narrative caps off with ‘Smallest Man’ and ‘Clara Bow’ acts as a thematic closer to the fame narrative that is running parallel to the romance storyline. ‘The Alchemy’ seems to portray a false sense of a positive epilogue, when the existence of The Anthology proves that that has yet to happen, and more self exploration is required by the narrator before she can begin the process of truly healing. It ultimately feels like a random detour in the last stretch of road before the story concludes.”
I Look in People's Windows: Carly said, “I love the lyrics, but the sound gives me an uneasy, uncomfortable feeling.” [Editor’s Note: Another responder, Devin, filled this portion of the survey with, “If anyone says ‘I Look In People’s Windows’ I’ll throw hands.” I just thought the two of you should meet. Hah!]
So High School: Rachel said, “It’s genius, it’s giving early 2000s, cliché millennial movie, but it’s not for me and I don’t think it fits the rest of the album’s vibe.”
And, of course, there were some who felt every song had its place.
Sarah [Editor’s Note: Not me! Hah!] said, “This album is an absolute masterpiece and I am thankful for every single one.”
On vivid moments …
I’ve often described listening to Taylor’s music as a double exposure experience. There’s of course the initial snapshot of her own life that she’s capturing in her art as author. In her songs, she’s framing a specific moment in time of her lived experience. But then there’s that second click of the shutter. It’s the moment we, as listeners, take in this art for ourselves. Like ghost film, our stories layer on top of one another. I’ve felt this way about her fashion, as well, bringing to mind pictures of a moment in time. Fashion is, after all, a visual art form on its own. Through Taylor’s music I’ve not only been able to crystallize moments in her life, but moments in mine as well. This creates such an intense and also intimately communal experience. Art is wonderful that way, isn’t it?
I so loved reading (and laughing out loud to many of) your unforgettable moments from this era.
Zara said: “Listening for the first time while staring out at the dark sea and the lights reflected on it and the cars passing by my window. Listening while on public transport in a big city and feeling like the main character. Watching a glitchy livestream and seeing her perform it for the first time, being shocked and singing along while crying.”
Alexis said: “Never forget having to explain to multiple people what a metaphor was following people hearing, ‘You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me’.”
Katie said: “With so many songs on one album, it took months for me to be able to take them all in and I kind of love that. Yes! Please challenge us like that! Make us think long and hard about art!”
Caitlin said: “My genuine gotcha moment when she said ‘I’m having his baby’.” [Editor’s Note: Yes!]
Kayla said: “I vividly remember showing my grandma (Age: 82) ‘So High School’ and her complimenting it. She said that’s how she feels about my grandpa. My husband and I started dating in middle school, so I always think this song was for my future self.” [Editor’s Note: *grabs tissue*]
Tiffany said: “Moments when certain parts of the lyrics ‘clicked.’ Like just a few months ago the whole song of ‘imgonnagetyouback’ clicked and I felt a little silly for not ‘getting’ it before. But I think that’s the magic of Taylor’s writing. There’s always more to meaning to be discovered or interpreted. I don’t know if that’s by design or if that’s just her art but it’s beautiful.”
Macy said: “No matter where I am or what I'm doing, hitting the imaginary cymbal on ‘We've already done it in my head’ is like my favorite thing ever.” [Editor’s Note: *AGGRESSIVE HEAD NOD*]
San said: “Shower singing, mostly.”
Sabrina said: “Listening to the album out loud while driving my car is ALWAYS the best.”
Janelle said: “This album is a sunny day with tears streaming down my face as I long for something I cannot have. The rest of the world is at the beach and I am, too. But I’m not looking at the waves or hearing the seagulls. I’m staring fiercely at a book pretending to read while inside I’m forcing myself not to erupt into fits of crying. It’s a long-awaited tantrum that’s been suppressed for so long that it seeps out of me in slow, tearful moans.”
Johanne said: “Hearing ‘But Daddy I Love Him’ for the first time. The gasp I gusped.”
Kimberly said: “The ‘In Summation’ poem literally changed my entire view on this album and EVERYTHING CLICKED.”
Stephanie said: “I just remember learning that none of the lyrics from The Grove pop-up were on the standard album.”
Miranda said: “How illegal it felt hearing Taylor sing ‘Taylor Swift’ for the first time.”
Molly said: “I teach sixth grade in California, so when she performed the TTPD set in Paris for the first time it was during school hours. I streamed while my students were at lunch and when they came back to class everyone crowded around my phone to watch ‘ICDIWABH’ for the first time together and sang along. So much fun!” [Editor’s Note: The next generation of fans! My heart]
Kelley said: “Being in the crowd and shouting ‘more!’ [during ‘I Can Do It With A Broken Heart’] was awesome! Exactly as I envisioned it from the moment I heard the song.”
Sarah said [Editor’s Note: Not me!]: “Packing up my home to sell after my break up listening to ‘So Long London’ hit real hard.”
Rosannah said: “At the risk of personal indulgence, the most vivid moment that stands out to me is in the early hours of Saturday 26th May, 2024 listening to ‘The Prophecy’, sitting on the edge of my bed, in the pitch dark of my room. I had, the day before, suffered what seemed like yet another major setback personally. My mother's health was very up in the air at the time (thankfully, she's fine now) and I'd only recently recovered from Covid [sic] myself so I was feeling incredibly low and, all alone in the darkness, it was as though my pain and desperation were completely seen and understood. Even amidst the pain, I will always be grateful for that.”
Loanna said: “TAYROOMBA!”
Of course I’m biased, but I loved reading your notes on this era’s fashion.
Anstiss said: “The fashion! It strikes me how she really seems so confident trying new things and showing off her style and body.”
Sophie said: “Overall l think the fashion of TTPD has been my fave of any era so far. l love that Taylor is exploring herself so vividly in this aesthetic it makes this era so cool.”
Katie said: “I noticed her fashion most - thanks to all your reporting. I wasn’t mildly annoyed by all the corsets because they are uncomfortable and just aren’t my style and don’t look great on me. But she looks great so she can go for it.”
Keely said: “I was so excited for this album. I loved the aesthetic of it from her fashion (shout out you!) and then seeing the visuals from the ‘Fortnight’ music video added a whole other level to the aesthetic. I'm someone who is an avid reader and a great lover of poetry, so I was excited to see Taylor's take on that with the academic aspect added in.”
Gaby said: “Definitely seeing her new aesthetic change from colorful to grey colors in her album. We get to see how colors affect the stages in her life and then how she brings that to life through her clothes.”
On the Eras Tour changing everything …
Elena said: “My third eye was opened watching Taylor perform ‘loml’ live. Something about the bridge just captured me. The next time I listened to it on the album I suddenly was physically hearing more in the production and the layers of sound and the beautiful poetry of it all.”
Rebekah said: “Honestly, watching the clips of her performance of ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’ was life changing. Realizing in the costuming and choreography that she was prepared to fight a war, took multiple hits and kept going until the literal end, and then transitions into ‘I Can Do It With A Broken Heart’ was astonishing. It was Taylor telling us (and herself) that even though things are incomprehensibly hard/difficult/painful, we always have a reason to keep fighting.” [Editor’s Note: *CLUTCHES HEART*]
Basma said: “I didn't really like ‘But Daddy I Love Him’ as much at first. I didn't hate it, but I found that it was coming more from a teenage perspective than the rest of the songs. And that turned me off, for some reason. But the Eras Tour performance refreshed the song for me, and I like it a lot more afterward, knowing the choreography. I now enjoy the tongue-in-cheek nature of the song, since the live performances.”
Ashley said: “It took seeing ‘Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me’ live for me to like it. Previously it felt like the Kirby holding a knife meme, but the live performance made it come alive.” [Editor’s Note: This reference had me down bad laughing on the floor]
Miranda said: “I just wasn’t getting the appeal of ‘Down Bad’ that everyone else seemed to upon release. Seeing the staging at the Eras Tour helped it connect for me. Like I understood the metaphor in the song but seeing it on that first live stream changed everything. The emotional weight totally clicked for me.”
Shona said: “Seeing ‘So High School’ at the Eras Tour solidified its place as one of my faves from the album. It really just showed pure joy.”
Amy said: “There is nothing quite like singing every word to every song with tens of thousands of other people in the safest and happiest place. The Eras crowds were so kind and supportive and joyous and I loved every minute of that community.” [Editor’s Note: *openly weeps*]
On what this album has meant for you …
This is where we really get into the stride of everything I hope TSS is: well-intentioned, critically kind analysis on art that matters to us. The depth of your responses - both by word count and emotions felt - blew me away.
As I noted at the opening of this post, it felt important (and honest) to me to gather a range of opinions — even those I may not agree with! I found it so eye opening and fascinating. I hope it can kickstart some equally thoughtful conversations in the comments.
Dani said: “Looking back I am extremely appreciative that after all this time and at the peak of her fame Taylor still poured her truth out into incredible music for us to enjoy, to scream to, and to heal with.”
Jen said: “At release, I was convinced pretty early on that it was her most complex, vulnerable, creative album to date. I think the recycled melodies as callbacks to other times she’s related to the song she’s writing now was ingenious for her to release during her Eras Tour. I think it was truly a lifeline for her and a way to crystallize her self-portrait as the most successful musician in the world being completely heartbroken on the biggest tour to have ever existed into her discography. It seems it’s one that’s meant to last as a legacy piece — as an ‘I can do it with a broken heart’ fuck you to anybody who questions her abilities or to future generations who want to do a deep dive into her career (as she’s done for so many musicians). I find it’s an album I tend to relate to on a personal level less than albums like evermore or folklore, but one that seems like the biggest gift to the fans who can carry her tender heart with care.”
Elena said: “I think how I feel about it as an artistic achievement versus how often I feel drawn to listen to it are slightly different. I think it is an absolutely towering achievement artistically. And I do genuinely enjoy listening to it. But I'm finding that I'm more likely to put on Red or folklore when I want heartbroken poetic Taylor. I'm more likely to put on reputation when I want rage Taylor. I'm a little more likely to pull out specific songs that I want to listen to in a given moment rather than commit to the full story of the full album.”
Erin said: “At first, I was disappointed that Taylor chose to release an album that thematically and sonically was sad, depressive, and full of anger. Especially at a time when the world was revelling in the joy that had just infiltrated every corner of our globe via the Eras Tour. However, it was authentic (and necessary) to Taylor, and isn’t that all that matters? It’s a collection of poetry, elevating her lyricism to a whole new level that I didn’t even think was possible. Although I can’t personally relate to the material, it still continually moves me.”
Paige said: “Love dramatic sad girl hours. While she does touch on themes about her relationship with the public and fame, at its core this album is about bleeding out in front of someone who stabbed you in the chest and refusing to pretend you’re okay with it once they’ve removed the knife. It’s deeply refreshing to see a woman unapologetic about her pain and the confusion and fury over losing someone who never truly cared about her the way she cared about them. Taylor recognizes she’s romanticizing the past and that the rejection is making her irrational at times but it doesn’t piss her off any less and she owns it fully on this album. She foresaw the violent end to this story, and pleaded for the object of her violent delights to choose differently; but he didn’t. So of course she’s fucking furious. The way she was treated sucks, and the only thing he leaves her with is her emotional truth, which she refuses to downplay to make the grisly aftermath more palatable. He doesn’t get to just disappear and pretend she wasn’t a victim of his callousness, his casual cruelty. This album holds the phantom accountable. Her fury matters. Her feelings matter. It’s no wonder TTPD resonated so deeply with so many. Whether it’s in work, love, or in life, women are often told our basic wants are ‘too much’ and that we need to be ‘cool’ with whatever treatment or short stick we’re given. This album stands in open defiance of that demand. As such TTPD’s emotional experience transcends its framework of romantic relationships. Ultimately, the album is a wounded roar that declares ‘I deserved better.’ She folded herself as small as possible to please, and she lost anyway. In the aftermath, she might as well let her pain stretch its talons and expand its wings. She allows her rage to take center stage and in doing so finally finds relief. It is beautiful and empowering to witness." [Editor’s Note: PHEW!]
Kim said: “It was exactly what I needed at the time. I was breastfeeding my daughter at night 2-3 times a night and needed songs that I could listen to and analyze in my head while staying up all night. It reminded me of past relationships and my severe depressive disorder. In a time when I felt like I had no control over my own body (motherhood can be a bit of an out of body experience) this connected me back to my feelings, to myself.”
Trisha said: “When TTPD came out, it was the only thing I listened to for weeks. I was going through a rough time in my personal life and no matter what the album itself was about, I realized that Taylor's voice and words bring me comfort like no other artist. Pressing play on Tortured Poets felt like coming home after a long, hard day. ‘The Prophecy’ wraps me in a warm blanket, ‘Clara Bow’ wipes away my tears. Now having some distance from release day and that time of my life, I can more clearly see what worked on the album and what didn't. But I will always love TTPD because it was there for me when I needed it the most.”
Katie said: “Her most raw and experimental album; also her most misunderstood. I feel like the satire of the “tortured poets” name was missed by those who dismissed the title track.”
Desiree said: “TTPD is an album about accepting what we've gone through, no matter how unflattering the story may be. I don't know that I could ever be as brave as Taylor is, especially since we all know she could've stayed quiet about most of the situation. Ever since its release, it's been a reminder that I need to be more forgiving of myself and not be ashamed of the choices I made. I can only be proud of myself for moving forward and making positive changes.”
Megan said: “I really disliked it at first, thought it was unnecessary and, at times, petty towards people who have wronged her. It has definitely grown on me since, and a few tracks are in my top 10 Taylor songs overall. However, I think it was extremely rushed and could have used more fleshing out. I think she had some really brilliant parts of songs, ideas or bridges, but not enough was developed fully. The reason she released it so quickly makes sense to me — it would seem odd to release an angry breakup album about someone when you've been happily dating someone else for 1-2 years. I think she also very much wanted to explain her side of the story while it was still in the zeitgeist.”
Audrey said: “Just as TTPD is an in-real time snapshot of Taylor’s life and relationships at the time, it’s a snapshot of what my life was like. Maybe more than any of her other albums, which is saying a lot, TTPD to me feels so personal because Taylor and I were in very similar mental and emotional places and so when I first listened to it and every time I’ve played it since, I get transported back to that time and relive not just moments but very specific feelings I had experienced. When I listen to the album, I’m always struck with uncovering another layer to a lyric or deeper understanding of Taylor as a human, which leads to learning a new facet about myself and my life.”
Seanagh said: “It's the album I've listened to the least in Taylor's discography. While I can fully appreciate how in her words, she needed to write the album, to help her process all the various things she was going through at the time - it's just not to my personal taste. I listen to some tracks by themselves occasionally but I haven't listened to it in full since its release.”
Laura said: “TTPD is an album that needed to marinate. She threw A LOT at us and it was overwhelming to say the least. It took me months to pull back the layers of each song and I still feel like I’m discovering new things a year later. When it came out I was just excited for new music. One year later, I recognized the emotional wreck of the album as a whole. I love every gasp, thinly veiled sexual innuendo, and unfiltered outpouring of her experience.”
Emily said: “It is a good breakup album but I feel a bit empty when listening to it. It feels unfinished or underproduced. I get that it's a commentary on how her relationship was left to be unfinished forever but it still doesn't leave me with a satisfying listening experience. Not that all songs / albums need to do this - Taylor's music doesn't exist for me! I find a lot of the songs incoherent, like the verses and choruses don't match each other and are kind of jarring to listen to sometimes. This album does not have the power of most of the others to me. I think this album is for the folklore girlies, which I am not. It does have some pop hits, and I sing ‘ICDIWABH’ like every day, but apart from that, I don't feel a very strong emotional attachment to this album or anything about this era really, except for the fashion and the fact that Taylor seems happier now.”
Cali said: “I think looking at Taylor’s discography the points that she evolved and grew the most noticeably as a songwriter would be 1989, folklore, and TTPD. With 1989, she challenged herself to write personal, emotional pop music that was succinct and catchy. With folklore, she de-centered her own personal narrative. She challenged herself by stepping away from her own stories and fabricating the circumstances while weaving her emotions into the music. With TTPD, she kind of beat the final boss in terms of figuring out how to write diaristically while also creating those almost semi-fictionalized composite sketches. It’s like she took everything she learned and put all of it into one album.”
Sierra said: “I feel largely the same way about it I felt at release. It’s a beautiful album that tells a really intriguing tale of Taylor’s personal life. The more you know about her personal history, the more the album unravels with clues and pathways that link back to hidden treasures on past albums. But by and large, the album is mid for me. As a consumer, it feels too overproduced and unedited. I’d have loved to have seen both albums pared down to the best of the best instead of throwing all the potential vault tracks and cutting room floor pieces into the pot. The two albums separately are disjointed sonically and I don’t anticipate this album will stand up years down the road as a knockout among Swift’s catalogue, regardless of fans' current fever for it during its fresh release. But all that said, I don’t think it matters too much. This feels like an album Taylor made purely for Taylor, because she had to. Because her new story wouldn’t continue until she got the past out of her. And that’s okay too.”
Wendy said: “So difficult because there are tracks I really love - but I do agree with critics who say it's bloated and needs editing. When it first came out I was genuinely quite stressed at the size of it and by how many tracks I wished were not there but I've grown to appreciate the rawness of the ones that I like. The framing she wanted for this album - where we understand it's a microcosm of toxic obsession and heartbreak that needs to be given grace for hyperbole - works for me on a personal level but didn't seem to resonate with the masses. As someone familiar with limerence the album hits in a certain way. It taps in the darkest hours of emotional betrayal.”
Lily said: “It taught me how valid it is to crash out over someone … and then again over someone else! To not learn your lessons but still believe in love. And that maybe by going through all of torture and feeling so sad that you feel cursed, you can still end up finding ‘The Alchemy.’ Being a tortured poet is really just a quest for real love and believing in happy endings, and finding some dead ends along the way which turn into killer bridges.”
Lauren said: “A year later I feel like this album has existed for five years and I can’t remember where we were before its release. I still think it’s a strong and brave piece of art to share with the world. That said, the main tracks and The Anthology is absolutely information overload. Upon release I divided The Anthology songs into categories of ‘necessary to understand the full story,’ ‘can stay,’ and ‘why is it here’ which you shouldn’t really be able to do with something solid. Will I ever say ‘no’ to more Taylor music? No. But there is an art to crafting a perfect tracklist and TTPD (1-16) is one of her best. I want to see her chase that skill again.”
Victoria said: “In my eyes, this album is a mirror. With TTPD, Taylor gave me an outlet for all of the pain and heartbreak of my long term relationship into catastrophic rebounds and I have honestly not been the same since its release. It’s silly to say, but it changed the way I processed the grief of those losses. Even if we didn’t have similar experiences at all, the beauty of Taylor’s writing is that she pours herself in a way that allows us to see ourselves instead. And as a Swiftie of over a decade, this feels like the pinnacle of all the pain she has endured at the hands of men, her fans, the media, and more … In the year since its release, I have travelled across oceans to see her play these songs and it has irrevocably altered the way I view my past.”
Miranda said: “I think what I’ve really come to understand is that Tortured Poets was doomed from the beginning in a way. Midnights was such a smash in part because the glittery gel pen was there to soften the more deep subject matter. It’s the reason why one of the most popular songs from TTPD was ‘ICDIWABH’! But ultimately the casual listener and the general audience were not prepared to handle how dense The Tortured Poets Department is. It was always going to be an album for the fandom, and I really think she knew this. She had a lot to say and needed to get it all out of her system. It was the emotional equivalent of when you throw up and your stomach ache is gone almost immediately. It is MEATY and DENSE and emotionally complex and is not the sort of light listening that the casual enjoyer of Taylor’s pop hits was ready for. And you know what? That’s okay. I think it seems like it’s beloved by the people she wanted it to be beloved by. And I think it was really clear watching her at the Grammys this year that she’s unbothered by its lack of Midnights level impact and love. It’s an incredible album that I’m so happy she gave to us.”
PHEW. That was a lot. Rightfully so for an album that has given us so much.
I know we covered so much ground in this newsletter but somehow, yes really, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Anything not covered? Anything you’d like to respond to? Any songs that didn’t get their time in the sun? I want to hear it all!
Missed the original survey? Now’s your time to answer!
What is your favourite song off Tortured Poets Department (Tracks 1-16)?
What is your favourite song off The Anthology (Tracks 17-31)?
If you could leave a song off the tracklist what would it be? Why?
What are your thoughts on The Tortured Poets Department as an album?
Which do you like more - The Tortured Poets Department Side A (Tracks 1-16) or The Anthology (Tracks 17-31)?
Where does Tortured Poets land in your album ranking of Taylor's discography?
Thank you for the indulgence. If you are still reading at this point then I’ll truly feel so validated in how this community will never let the languishing, rambling, long-form die. And for that I am endlessly grateful.
I feel extremely validated by your Editor’s note on my loml comment - sad song girlies unite! (Also just to say I have still not recovered from the devastation that was hearing loml for the very first time)
It’s a full year later and I’m still as fully obsessed with this album as I was on day one. I can’t begin to explain the chokehold it has on me. It was also my first time experiencing a new release as a fresh Swiftie, and I wouldn’t have it any other way 🫶🏼